About Me, The Family That..., There Goes the Neighborhood

The end of trees. A Sunday funk.

Half of the tree in front of our yard fell down. It’s been slowly dying for awhile from some kind of citrus fungus or disease.  Today, it’s been gusting and raining a lot.  I came home from running some errands to see half the tree lying across the sidewalk leading up to the front door.  The bright side?  At least it didn’t fall on the roof.

On one hand, I feel relieved to finally be forced to address the tree situation.  On the other hand, it’s the last thing I want to do on a Sunday after spending all day yesterday out and about between a trip to MegaCon, dinner with friends, and the Gasparilla Night Parade.

I pity the fool that gets between me and beads

When I called to let my husband know I just kind of lost it.  I know he’s busy moving stuff from his friend’s house to his parents’ house today, but it seemed like once again this was a problem for me alone to address.  Heaven forbid I should want him to assist or help in any way.  I hung up after not getting far in our discussion and just sat on the floor in the kitchen and cried.

It’s just another one of a million things that we have to take care of around the house that neither one of us has the time or inclination to do.  I wish sometimes that I lived in an apartment or a condo.  The American Dream?  Not for everyone.  I’d rather have someone else taking care of all this stuff.  It feels like too much responsibility and effort.

His advice?  Snap out of it.  I’m trying.  I try hard to keep an even keel, but it’s sometimes a losing battle.  Unfortunately, I loathe myself when I snap and my husband feels the brunt of my anger, confusion, and depression, but that doesn’t mean I can stop it from happening.  A self-propagating cycle of bad moods, depression, and frustration that makes me feel even more defeated and down.

I’m sure there’s a way through this, but I honestly don’t know what it is.   I try to just keep going each day and hope that one day the clouds will dissipate.

Hey Readers – say something positive in the comments, okay?

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About Me, NaBloPoMo 2012, The Family That...

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Looking Ahead

Three, two, one, begin.

Writing this to wrap up the week.  I had lunch today with my Mom in honor of my birthday coming up in a few days.  She gave me a card that was really sweet and touching.  A strange thing that almost never happens.  But pretty cool to have a moment where maybe we can begin to understand each other.

We went last night to see War Horse with the parents-in-law.  They love the movie theaters where you can dine and watch the movie so we took them to the newest one of those in town.

I’m hoping to get an interview with another company later this week.  I’m scared and excited because I may have a chance at getting a full-time gig.  Scared because I don’t know if I want to make the change, but I know that it’s way past time.  Also scared because I really suck at working at 40 hour a week, 8 to 5 sort of gig.  But you do what you must to survive.  Money concerns are real and getting more critical as time passes.  I hope I can hack it for a bit no matter what happens.

Not really a lot to say this week on the wrap up.  Writing every day in November was pretty cool.  In January, for my second attempt at a daily post it seems more like a chore.  But I’ll push on even though.  I made the commitment I must stick it out.  What do you all think?  Do daily posts seem a good way to go?  I know that second guessing yourself is much harder when there’s a NEED to post not just a want.  Let me know what you think.

Alright, a big week coming up.  Anniversary and birthday all this week.  And looking forward to a mini-break this weekend to celebrate.  Time’s up!

#SOCsundayThis was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love. Other participating bloggers can be found at All.Things.Fadra.
About Me, NaBloPoMo 2011, Rumbly in My Tumbly

Five Minute Ramble

Hubs and I went to a new Food Truck event downtown this evening. We had a nice date night, tried some great food and heard a nice band.

It was a needed break from our normal week and a fun date night. We’ve been having our ups and downs lately and working through communication issues and such. We’re just such different people. It’s hard to believe the old saying about opposites attracting. When they do it makes extra work for you.

Also, yesterday was a tough day as we had a training from the Sheriff’s office on internet sexual predators. A really tough topic and stuff that was hard to hear about. Important stuff that needs to be said, but not easy at all. It was strange to hear that a lot of them are into online games and such. Now, I’m walking around thinking that all my gamer friends are suspicious. Jeez. *sigh*

Looking forward to Friday tomorrow and lunch with a friend I haven’t seen in a long while. We used to be great friends then drifted apart as she got married and had kids. Then I got married and moved to the other side of town. I hate when that happens. Yet, it’s okay too as I know that people do move in and out of our life and many times they come back into our life when we most need them.

Grateful tonight for good food, my husband and better communication between us, and the people at the auto shop who were kind enough to rig up that stuff that was hanging down under the car – and for free.

All right, this was a five minute post with no edits or revisions as seen at So This is Love.  Thanks NaBloPoMo for making me try new things!

Until tomorrow.