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The texts continue. Cue banjos.

For those who haven’t read the first part check it out here.

Random texting continues with…

RP: just lying about you comin tonight.

(I had just asked if Mandee had done anything weird lately in order to determine her alien status.)

Me: Bros before hos.

RP: Is she a bro? because I know shes a….

(As it was late I decided to take a break to get some sleep.  The next day the saga continued with a few texts sent by my husband while we were out eating with some friends.)

Me: Mandee asks why you buggin?

RP: Shes a tard

Me: yea she so tarded it take her an hour to make minute rice yo

RP: Word G!

(Finally, a G!  Does the fact that it’s capital make up for the all missin’ ones?)

Later, I looked up the number and found out it’s from a little town in Tennessee.

Cue dueling banjos…

 

Wait.  What?!

Tennessee.  Middle of nowheresville.  Guy named Todd.

I’m now wondering if the “random person” is really a friend of my husband’s.  The friend lives in TN.  He has the same name.  He would go dancing at a place called Rollin in the Hay.  He’s always trying to hook up with the ladies.

Just thinking about this made me laugh so hard I snorted.  If this is true it’s absolutely the best thing EVER!  Pièce de résistance.

As a test I sent a message to the number I have saved for him in my phone. The reply?  Wrong number.

The circle is complete.

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Where I receive a text. And learn who can’t be trusted.

Text message received from an unknown long distance number.

Random Person:  Hi. this is todd, the guy man Mandee is tryin to get you to come see.  your missin out on big fun.  we are grillin steaks, pokein a stick in the bonfire, then goin dancin at the  hillbilly bar.

(This text message brings up a lot of questions.  First off, who the heck is sending me this?  Then, what’s a guy man?  And finally, does it cost extra to text the last “g” in words on this guy’s plan?)

Me:  Sorry I think you have the wrong person.  I have no idea who you are.

RP (aka Todd):  No. we danced at rollin in the hay, Mandee  said she was bringing you for dinner tonight.  i have been lookin forward to it.  im startin to learn she is not that honest.

Me:  Mandee is terrible.  Can’t be trusted.

RP:  I have learned that really quick.  sucks for my boy Brandon.

Me:  Brandon deserves better.  I think Mandee is an alien.  From Planet Zee.  Def not from here.  Has she done anything weird?

Oh, please, oh, please, random person.  Reply and tell me some of the weird shit Mandee has been up to lately.

About Me, Friends

Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

It’d be nice if this only happened sometimes.  It’d be nice if I had a really awesome, funny story about how ONE time I said or did something that was just SO wacky I stunned everyone.  Then we all laughed and it was a-okay.

Did I Do That?
Did I Do That?

Unfortunately, it’s not that easy.  Being high-strung and quite often ignorant of tact, decorum, or diplomacy this happens more than I’d like.  Add in a mind that processes things and gets them to my mouth too quickly and you’ve got your basic recipe for trouble.

There’s the time I asked a friend of mine why she would want such a boring job (she had just gotten a job as a technology analyst or some such) to which she replied – I got my graduate degree in that.

There’s the time I blurted out to my college color guard instructor not only how hideously ugly our uniforms were BUT also implied someone would have to be nuts to have picked them to which she replied – I picked them.

*thud*

There’s the fact that a long-standing boyfriend had a running joke that his job was to come along behind me and quietly sweep up my diplomatic disasters.  At least we knew our respective duties.

On the flip side, with so many opportunities for self-embarrassment, I learned long ago not to get embarrassed, or at the least, learned not to show that I was embarrassed.  The occasional embarrassment still happens, but it’s pretty tough to get me there by pointing out something inappropriate I’ve done or said.  This is to the utter chagrin and horror of my very sensitive husband.

But with age comes more tact and less open mouth, insert foot moments.  And if I live to 200 I’ll be able to begin a new career as a diplomat.

Mama’s Losin’ It

This post is linked up over at Mama Kat’s.  This week’s prompt?  Whoops…write about a time you put your foot in your mouth.

That’s all for now folks.