Text message received from an unknown long distance number.
Random Person: Hi. this is todd, the guy man Mandee is tryin to get you to come see. your missin out on big fun. we are grillin steaks, pokein a stick in the bonfire, then goin dancin at the hillbilly bar.
(This text message brings up a lot of questions. First off, who the heck is sending me this? Then, what’s a guy man? And finally, does it cost extra to text the last “g” in words on this guy’s plan?)
Me: Sorry I think you have the wrong person. I have no idea who you are.
RP (aka Todd): No. we danced at rollin in the hay, Mandee said she was bringing you for dinner tonight. i have been lookin forward to it. im startin to learn she is not that honest.
Me: Mandee is terrible. Can’t be trusted.
RP: I have learned that really quick. sucks for my boy Brandon.
Me: Brandon deserves better. I think Mandee is an alien. From Planet Zee. Def not from here. Has she done anything weird?
Oh, please, oh, please, random person. Reply and tell me some of the weird shit Mandee has been up to lately.