I found out this evening that the son of one of the teachers at the school where I’ve taken voice lessons for several years committed suicide on Christmas. My brain absolutely froze when I found out. My heart feels like a lump of stone.
The woman that this happened to is a kind, talented musician with a quiet, peaceful, rock-solid presence. I shudder thinking of the pain and anguish she must be feeling; this was her only son. She was flying up to see him in New York when it happened. He was in his thirties.
If you need help or a person to talk to PLEASE REACH OUT TO SOMEONE.
Do it for your loved ones and yourself. You are NOT alone.
In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255.
The worst part of learning this news? Admitting that on occasion I have had these thoughts. Deep down, I know this is no option. But sometimes, when my mood is at its lowest, it makes a small, small bit of sense. I’ve lain on the couch crying, been standing in the kitchen, or been driving along, and been struck by this “simple” solution.
Thankfully, I’m a chicken. I also have a crazy level of sense memory and almost vomit imagining what something will feel like especially painful things. I’m glad about that.
Pray for those suffering. Reach out to a friend. Forgive yourself. Love.